31 Jan
Finally, I am free, on my own. I lost my words again. Noodles for lunch, soda for dinner.
What else? It’s so cold here, where is spring? That’s sad. Not loneliness, not emptiness, just sadness.
Phew
The train on the eve of Chinese new year, nothing special at all. It doesn’t matter anymore. I just slept the whole holiday, at the end……get over it.
3 Jan
it has come, so calm, nothing special.
I was on facebook and renren, looking at all those people’s social life and pictures, it seems that I am so far from all that. None of my business. I am fading away.
All those holidays is nothing for me. I don’t want those stuff anymore, good new year gift. Calmness. It scares me how my passion comes and goes, how the new ideas come and go. I need to stick to one.
2012, be independent. be ready.
27 Nov
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzA0NDc1Mjg0.html
It’s a crappy pop song, but this version is better. Yeah, now I start to understand crappy pop songs. I need you now. Who are you? Someone who can understand, someone I can talk to. Where are you? I don’t know. Does ‘you’ exist? I don’t have energy to search. I miss you.
I came across of this
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzI2NjQ3MDc2.html
Suddenly I understand what is luxury, the attitude, the lifestyle—-being free. I want to be free.
31 Oct
I don’t want look back now, what while-worthy is what coming next. The past is always related.
31 Oct
Now word press is blocked here as well. I found my way to access but this doesn’t make me happy. Why those people waste so much effort on useless things like this? There are so much more important things they should and they need to worry about, like the crappy air. Ridiculous.
Well, I watched a play and I didn’t like it. I could hardly breathe that day. Oh I am sure the air is poisoning me…RAIN RAIN PLEASE RAIN. But the hotpot was really good.
I am in a really weird mood today. First time since I’ve been in Beijing. Maybe because I am forcing myself to write the damn thesis..flash back to edhec mood…yeah, that’s my edhec mood, a weird mood. Like floating in the air.
Why I didn’t like that play? It’s shallow, it’s not what I imagined. I have another 3 shows to go..do I feel happy about that? I just realized that sitting in a theater is not real, like another world, drag me back to a virtual life..virtual or spiritual? There are so many aspects in me, I love all of them. I love my life since I decided to love my life. It’s easy to change perspective.
Ok, thesis.
This just one of the days that I feel like writing and write nonsense.
3 Sep
Paris
Beijing
Paris
Beijing
I miss France in Beijing. Everything happened there, good or bad, happy or sad. I was so alive as who I am.
Beijing is okay, like I always say, it’s okay. I like the job so far. I never thought I would even miss the food in France, I do miss a good salad.
The first day I was alone in Beijing, I bought a new guitar.
Find a way out.
12 Aug
Emilie’s cookies. We went there so many times, to study, to chat or to do nothing. Good drinks, cookies, cheese cake, sweet time for girls.
Wayne’s, it has to be the best bar in Nice. There was crazy time, good time, boring time, peaceful time. And who is more handsome? Jack or Sam.
We spent so much careless time there, careless and happy. That time can only be savored, not copied.
9 Aug
It’s very hot. The ballon was rising faster with this hot air, finally, exploded. The pieces are falling down.
1 Aug
i’m tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
i don’t know what you’re expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
i’ve
become so numb
i can’t feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i’m becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
can’t you see that you’re smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste is more than i can take
but i know
i may end up failing too
but i know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you
I didn’t like Linkin Park before I started listening into the lyrics. I am doing nothing here, no job, no study, nothing bothers me. I have never been feeling more free and more at peace than I am now. My mind is going beyond all the boarders, like walking away from being numb and getting alive. This one is not because I am depressed, just the opposite.
